Donuts Shouldn't Explode
by Kotetsu T. Kaburagi
Summary: Just something that popped into my head while eating donuts.Vash and Wolfwood bake. It's a recipe for disaster.Don't forget to review.Enjoy!
1. No Donuts!

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Depressing! 'o'**

**Donuts Shouldn't Explode**

**By: J-chan (aka Vash)**

**Narrated by: Vash The Stampede (cause it's about me)**

**One day I, Vash the Stampede was sitting on the porch of the hotel I was sharing with Wolfwood and the insurance girls. I yawned and stared at the fluffy pink evening clouds floating by. They looked a lot like cotton candy, and just the thought made my stomache growl, and I flopped over on my side. A few seconds later I jumped into the air holding my face.**

**"Oww, splinters!"**

**After regaining my composure and visiting the town infirmary, I then decided I would find something to ease my aching stomache. I looked around town, but couldn't seem to find a donut shop anywhere. I did however find a little convinence store nestled between two tall buildings. I figured I'd find something there to eat even if it wasn't what I really wanted. Plus I kinda owed Wolfwood a pack of cigarrettes after I accidentally dropped his last pack out the bus window. It was his fault anyway for making me try one. Who knew I was immediately gonna get sick! I guess plants weren't meant to smoke. I wonder if Knives ever had that problem. Oh well, it's all in the past now. Jeez, I don't know what that man sees in these little white sticks! They taste nasty, they're not edible, so they won't help you if you're starving in the desert, and from what I've heard if you smoke too many you'll die. Not my idea of a healthy habit. At least donuts can't kill you...um I don't think they can. Maybe if it was a deadly mutant donut...no that's just wierd. Now, I must find something to eat before I starve to death.**

**" Excuse me sir, do happen to sell donuts here?"**

**The store clerk looked up at me quizzically.**

**"Um, let's see, donuts...donuts...Nope, sorry, we're all sold out. But I can give you this. It's a donut mix that we get, but no one's ever used it yet since we usually sell the baked ones. You're welcome to try it though."**

**He handed me the package and I read over the instructions. It didn't look too complicated, so I figured I'd get it.**

**" All right, I'll try it mister! Oh, and could you tell me how far it is to the next town?"**

**The man put a hand to his temple and thought a moment.**

**" Uh, I'd say it's about 2,000 iles from here. It'll take ya about three days to get there even by bus, so if I were you I'd leave early."**

**I picked up my purchases and headed toward the door.**

**"Thanks mister!"**

**Once I returned back from the shop, I stopped short in front of the hotel. Standing there tapping his foot like some pissed off girl, was Wolfwood. He had bags under his eyes like he hadn't slept in days. It was probably the lack of nicotine though. As I approached he stomped toward me and grabbed the bag out of my hands.**

**" Hey, what did you do that for!" I yelled.**

**" You promised me my cigarrettes, so I'm taking them out." He said flatly.**

**I glared back at him. After all my donuts were in that bag.**

**" You could have just asked me. What kind of preacher are you?"**

**He smirked. " The pissed off nicotine-deprived kind, so don't mess with me spikey."**

**I growled at him. I hate that nickname.**

**" Hey,what have I told you about calling me spikey! and give me back my bag, I'm starving and you're holding my donuts hostage!"**

**He dodged my lunge and peeked inside the shopping bag. Then surprisingly he started to laugh.**

**" Ha ha. Donut mix! You actually think Meryl will let you into the kitchen to cook these! You're cracked!"**

**It was true that Meryl's kitchen was a no-men zone, but I didn't trust her when it came to donuts. She might try to poison them or something! However a resounding growl from my stomache made up my mind for me.**

**" Wolfwood, give em back! I've never cooked donuts before, and I want to try, so don't mock me or I'll have tohurt you."**

**His eyes went wide for a moment, but he laughed again and handed the bag over.**

**" Ya know what needle noggin, I think this might be a fun little project after all. I'll help ya, that way if we blow up the kitchen or something you won't have to take all the blame for it. Okay, let's get this little experiment under way shall we?"**

**I nodded and followed Wolfwood up to the room. This was gonna be great!**

**To be continued...**

**Wow, this was really random. This just kinda popped into my head outa nowhere, because I was eating donuts. Heh go figure Donuts + My crazy mind fic. I hope you at least like it. I'm going to continue it, but this is all I could stand for tonight so I'll stop here for now. Make sure you review me and tell me if you want more, otherwise I might just blow this whole story up like I didJuly. The plot in this is terrible I know, but just bear with me. It will get better. Now I'm going to go poke Wolfwood in the arm until he gives me some good ideas, so blame him if chapter 2 sucks ok? **

**Love and Peace**

**-Vash **


	2. Random Stuff Happens

**I'm back, no I didn't die. -- I finally decided that this story is a PIECE OF CRAP! I don't know what I was thinking, and I hope I didn't bore anyone to death. I've decided not to abandon this though because no matter how stupid and pointless it is, it can go SOMEWHERE...I don't know where but let's just see. Now, on to chapter 2!**

**Upon reaching the apartment-like room I currently shared with Wolfwood and the girls, I took a few seconds to look over the kitchen area. We had a few pots and pans, some charred oven mits, and a greasy old stove that had seen better days. I glanced over at Wolfwood and saw that he had a look of apprehension on his face.**

**"Uh Tongari, do you really need to make these that badly?"**

**I nodded in the affirmative.**

**"Of course I do! These are the only things in this town that even come CLOSE to donuts, and I'll be damned if you can have cigarrettes while I am deprived of what I love most!"**

**I knew I looked like a pouty spoiled brat right then, but I REALLY wanted some donuts. The strangest thing was, that I seemed to crave them a lot more when there were none to be found. Like some unreachable treasure or something. Wolfwood and the girls would never understand.**

**"All right Tongari, if they mean that much to you. What ingredients do we need?"**

**I scanned the ingredients on the package. **

**"Ok, not good."**

**Wolfwood looked up from pulling an apron out of a cabinet.**

**"What's not good, I don't like it when you say "not good." It usually means trouble."**

**I brought the bag of mix over to show him.**

**"That's not good. We don't have some of the ingredients we need."**

**Wolfwood put a hand to his head like e had a headache.**

**" Like what?"**

**I read from the bag.**

**"Uh, let's see, we need flour, sugar, salt, yeast, vegetable oil, four eggs, water we have. Uh, oh yeah, and some icing, glaze and sprinkles."**

**Wolfwood sweatdropped.**

**"Icing and sprinkles! Can't you eat plain ordinary donuts just like everyone else!"**

**I knew he wasn't going to cooperate, so I gave him my trademark puppy eyes. Not even Meryl can resist em.**

**"Pleeeease Nick? It's just a little bit of sprinkles. They taste better that way. Plus I'll share em with ya. Pleeease?"**

**Nick looked horrified, but finally his shoulders drooped and he caved.**

**"All right! (rotten needle noggin) Just make sure they don't cost too much, here."**

**He handed me a handful of double dollars and pushed me out the door. I knew I had so totally won the battle over his consceince, and now it would be easier to get what I wanted from him. **

**"Ho ho ho, I'm so good! Sprinkles here I come!"**

**To be continued...**

**All right, I think that's a good enough place to stop for tonight. I'm glad I got some reviews, but I must say to the person who corrected me on the donut pronunciation, that you can spell it either way. I've seen both DONUTS and DOUGHNUTS on boxes of the sweet tasting things. Don't worry, I'm not trying to bash you, I'm merely stating that it can be spelled both ways. Sorry if my spelling of it upset you in any way, but I've been writing it that way for years and it just feels more natural. Well I better go before I collapse out of my computer chair from lack of sleep. It's currently 1:17 A.M. over here! Well bye.**

**-Vash**

**P.S.: If this chapter sucked...It's Wolfwood's fault! . **


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